[Editor's Note: The Teen Choice...
[
Editor's Note: The Teen Choice Awards were rebroadcast on Wednesday night on the TV Guide Channel.]
I have to say right away, our TV Guide Channel kicked butt on the official red carpet two-hour preshow, and I'd state this even if I didn't work here.
Kimberly Caldwell,
Rosanna Tavarez and
Chris Booker were awesome hosts and set the proper tone for Fox's awards show. Speaking of which…
8:00 pm Gwen Stefani opens the show with her No. 1 hit "Hollaback Girl." Can I stress how much I love the original, unedited version and how much I detest the edited version? I know it's network TV, but why perform the song if it has to be edited? Sing "Rich Girl" or something else. All those "shhh" sounds go right through me. OK — got that off my chest.
8:06 I said this about the MTV Movie Awards and I'll say it here. How does
Andy Dick continue to get booked on these awards each year? So. Not. Funny.
8:12 Jim Carrey wins for Choice Movie Bad Guy and he sings a few bars of
Toni Basil's "Mickey." Cut to an audience shot of teens with "I don't know that song, Reege" facial expressions.
8:13 Ryan Cabrera's hair really annoys me.
8:14 Adam Brody wins multiple awards without
Benjamin McKenzie even being nominated. A great thing about the Teen Choice Awards is that when someone wins more than one award, they get them all at the same time — not spread throughout the night. In other words, they only get one acceptance speech! How cool is
that?
8:16 Loving that my
Kelly Clarkson won three awards! Not loving that she wasn't there. Kelly, "Since You've Been Gone," I've missed you.
8:18 William Hung is getting fat.
8:25 A sophisticated-looking
Paris Hilton wins for Choice Movie Scream Scene for
House of Wax. Cut to a "Why am I here?" audience shot of Jim Carrey.
8:29 What a coincidence that the two winners of Choice Hotties —
Chad Michael Murray and
Rachel Bilson – are seated next to each other. Fantastic that Rachel beat
Jessica Simpson — no wonder why
she didn't show.
8:36 Mariah Carey wins twice and doesn't embarrass herself, which is a far cry from her MTV
Cribs episode.
8:37 The Pussycat Dolls, aka the new
Spice Girls, perform my fave current song "Don't Cha," and I must say I am impressed that at least the lead singer was singing live.
8:45 First shot of
Demi and
Ashton in the audience. Since she's sitting down, I can't tell if she looks pregnant or not. I want to see Moore!
8:49 Napoleon Dynamite's
Jon Heder refers to
Jesse McCartney as Jesse Mc
Fartney. I laugh out loud. So does Demi.
8:51 Liked Ashton giving that random audience member the chance to read his acceptance speech. Even better was when he coached the dude to talk slower and emphasize the right words. Never thought I'd see Ashton Kutcher teach anyone how to speak.
8:56 Rachel McAdams wins a plethora of awards and kisses presenter
Ryan Reynolds rather than fellow winner
Ryan Gosling. Oh, Rachel, you oughta know that Reynolds is engaged to
Alanis Morissette. And by the way, who knew he would go from
Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place to the movie stud he's become?
9:04 Did I think I'd be crying my eyes out? Host
Hilary Duff giving the startling statistics of the annual teen deaths due to drunk-driving accidents made me lose it. Then
Simple Plan's song made me cry more.
9:16 Hilary's cohost
Rob Schneider is just unfunny tonight.
9:17 The Gwen Stefani clip package
Halle Berry introduces makes me very happy that someone I've admired since the early '90s is still going strong. Visionary indeed!
9:28 Eva Longoria — stunning.
9:35 At last, the annually Emmy-snubbed
Lauren Graham wins for Choice TV Parental Unit and
Gilmore Girls wins for Choice TV Comedy. Hello, Emmy people, get with the program!
9:43 Speaking of which,
Alexis Bledel wins for Choice TV Comedy Actress. Love it.
9:48 Sandra Bullock is cracking me up comparing her three Teen Choice Awards to
Regina King being in three Oscar-nominated films.
9:57 Adam Sandler wins for Choice Comedian, which surprises me since I never saw him in the audience. I figured it had to be Jim Carrey since I
thought he was the only one there. Wrong. Yeah, Adam and yeah, teens!
